Tuesday, 11 October 2011

He Finally Has Mina

There were so many titles I could have given this post...


I've been holding off writing it because I just don't want to.  It ended up being pretty painful for both of us in the end and made us re-evaluate so many things.  It is also an event that makes me think that I can never be a 'real' cuckquean.  Honestly I am dreading reliving it through this and I am dreading him reading it as well.  He's been very understanding of having to hear about all my negative thoughts and insecurities. 



But I am putting the cart before the horse as my Irish granny would have said...


Any of you readers who has been following along with the Mina selections will know that we've had an ongoing sexual build up with another couple, Mina is the slave and she has a master.  There was never any subterfuge between my Master and I that it would eventually happen.  I was going to 'let him' and it was something that he wanted.


I was really curious about pushing that limit.  I knew he thought she was really sexy and really and truly wanted to fuck her.  I knew that if I wasn't around he would have made a much more concerted effort and would have ended up with her a lot sooner because she'd never been very secretive that she'd like to experience him.  It gave me all sort of nervous butterflies to think of them together and honestly the thought was hot.


We'd had quite a bit of pillow talk about playing with them.  I distinctly remember telling him that I wanted him to take her.  He was always pretty non-distinct about what he wanted me to do with the master while he was playing with Mina.  I think this was one of the places that we went wrong.


They came to our home for a weekend.  We had a great time, a great connection between the four of us.  Things went well and the wine flowed.  The inevitable happened of course and the four of us relaxed on our couches split into couples, each with the others spouse.  I should say at this point that Mina's master was quite taken with me and was quite happy about the trade.  He soon had my head pushed down on his cock.  I was at the wrong angle and had to keep breaking off my blow job to look over at my Master with Mina.


From my poor vantage point, in the dimly lit room, after about a gallon of wine, I watched as he caressed her breasts and played with her large nipples.  I was turned on but had to keep going back to service her master's cock.  My Master proceeded to slide his fingers into her wet mouth and it looked as if he was talking quietly to her, I had no idea about what.  She stroked his cock as he spread her thighs and explored her pussy taking possession of her body slowly.  The next time I was able to look up he was standing in front of her sitting form and was pushing his cock into her soft mouth. 


Her master couldn't see her from his angle and since he couldn't hear her he asked naively if she'd fallen asleep.  She did not answer him, entirely focused on my Master's cock, but my Master answered 'Trust me, she isn't sleeping!" with a laugh.


Suddenly I heard more intense movement from their couch.  I struggled to look up but Mina's master had his hand on my head pushing me to his cock.  By the time I was able to look over towards them they were standing and walking from the room, she was moving willingly but he was distinctly guiding her.  It seemed to me he didn't glance back at me at all.


My heart sunk through the floor and I started to panic.  A wave of abandonment washed over me and I told myself I was being silly, I was perfectly fine, we'd be moving any minute.  The other master didn't seem to notice their departure.  He wasn't moving, he was just wanting me to keep sucking his cock.  I started to panic and my brain sort of clicked off.  I was having an intensely emotional struggle between wanting to be a good slave by pleasuring this man at the same time I was starting to feel desperate to get back to my own Master and just to muddy the waters further my poor pussy was on fire thinking about what he was going to do? was doing? with her.  They were already upstairs, I couldn't hear them anymore, and I broke.  As calmly as I could I turned to the other master and invited him to go upstairs with me, cajoling him.  He looked around and noticed they'd gone.  We got up and climbed the stairs, I was trying not to run.


At the top of the stairs a wall of relief rose up to meet me.  I was so happy I almost skipped into the bedroom.  I could hear my Master and Mina just through the door as I started to step through.  Just then I was yanked backwards by the hair.  Mina's master pulled me into the second bedroom, saying I was going the wrong way.  He threw me onto the bed and started to eat my pussy.  I was startled and wasn't functioning well in the brains department.  I wanted to be a good slave so badly and I didn't know if my Master had spoken to this master prior, if they'd had an agreement and if I would ruin everything for him if I left to go back to him.  I didn't understand why we weren't in the same room.  We'd agreed we'd always be in the same room but at the same time I'd also made my solomon promise to him that I would submit to him and I'd given him the right to change the rules when he chose to.  Was that the case here?

I could hear them in the other room, first clinking noise so I new he was doming her with some sort of bondage.   Then her moaning started and I knew he was doing something to her, and then I knew he was fucking her from the rhythm of her cries.  It made me wild and I had a huge orgasm on his face as he licked me, I gushed on him.  He got excited and plied me with more oral and having cum I could no longer concentrate.  I felt trapped.  I felt abandoned and alone.  I could hear her in the other room.  In desperation I begged him to fuck me, thinking he would cum quickly and I could escape.  The alcohol was really kicking in by then and his hard on became unreliable.  I wiggled and moaned under him trying to get him going and trying to block out the sounds from the other room.  Nothing doing so I started sucking him again.

I am guessing the anxiety I was feeling along with the feelings of abandonment and confusion triggered me to flash back to my rape.  I went through some really weird mental states and finally just got up and ran into my Master's room.  The moans had stopped by then and mentally I thought I was going to snap, that my heart or my brain or both would burst from my body.


I burst into the room to find them laying in my and my Master's bed cuddling.  Mina's master followed behind me.  She had on my blindfold mask, because he likes to play with masks on.  I hated that.  I hated seeing them together.  I was using every shred of control I had in my body not to start screaming and crying and hitting anyone and every one of them.  He didn't even glance up at me, didn't say hi, didn't acknowledge me.  I was losing it in a major way.  I couldn't get between them on the bed because they were snuggling.  I literally climbed on top of him, desperate for him to notice me.  It didn't seem to occur to him that anything was wrong.  He'd had a good time.  Finally he allowed me to cut between him and her, not that I let that be optional.  I was holding it together by a thread and I desperately wanted to physically kicked her out of bed and I would have expect I knew with the tiny filament of logic that I still had that I'd agreed to this.


Finally Mina and her Master retired to their own bedroom.  My Master reached for me and started touching me like he was going to fuck me.  As his hand touched my pussy I started wailing.  I broke open and spilled my tangled emotions onto the bed.  I don't remember anymore what I said something about not liking that and never wanting to be in another room again.  He tried to comfort me desperately but I was inconsolable.  The only time I can ever remember feeling that way was when someone died suddenly or when I told him about the night I was raped.  I really and truly lost it.  He held me and stroked me and said he loved me over and over.  Finally he took me to the shower to clean up.  I don't know what his plan was, to wash her off him or to cool off, or to wash me down and distract me.  I was still sobbing uncontrollably.  I dropped to his feet in the shower kissing them, begging him not to leave me and then begging to drink his urine.  I can't explain to you why, I was really far gone in my head.  The only thing I can puzzle together is that I felt I'd been abandoned and this translated into him leaving me and drinking his urine is the ultimate in our repertoire, a hard limit that he'd wanted and I'd given to him.

After drinking his pee.  I was calmer and I finally let him put me to bed.  I found the used condom the next day and masturbated about the incident after I cried again.  As utterly horrible as it had felt my pussy just wouldn't stop.


More than a year later we are still great friends with Mina and her master but we've never repeated the sex.   We've had a few more play sessions with them though.  I still masturbate about the details that I do know about that night.  It still turns me on instantly.  Just like I feel a surge of panic any time I have even a hint that it might repeat its self. 



It has been incredibly difficult to gain any perspective on this night for me.  It gave me a major set back in my trust of him at first and then as I saw the changes he made it has helped me rebuild my trust in him.  It also taught me that I can't be broken, at least not with a one time incident.  It made me not want to be with others for quite a while, but I've managed to over come that over time with his help.  I find I have a true fear of being with other men now though.  I didn't before this incident.  There was something about it triggering my flash back that now makes me panic at the thought of it.  Another thing I need to work on.


 

   
 

6 comments:

  1. you're re victimizing yourself with sexual abuse

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  2. No, actually I am not. If you don't get the cuckqueaning/cuckolding dynamic feel free to go else where. I have no interest in your pop-psychology.

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  3. I can truly empathize.

    The blessing of being a cuckquean - seeing your man lusting for other women.
    The curse of being a cuckquean - seeing your man lusting for other women.

    Thank you for sharing with us...!

    xoxo

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I am understand the psychology allure and aspects of this lifestyle and I am a huge proponent of BdsmI have no judgements I hope this has never happened again but it should have never occurred to begin with; your husbands job is to protect you he knows your past, you put his pleasure first he should reciprocate by putting your protection first

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