Tuesday, 11 October 2011

He Finally Has Mina

There were so many titles I could have given this post...

I've been holding off writing it because I just don't want to.  It ended up being pretty painful for both of us in the end and made us re-evaluate so many things.  It is also an event that makes me think that I can never be a 'real' cuckquean.  Honestly I am dreading reliving it through this and I am dreading him reading it as well.  He's been very understanding of having to hear about all my negative thoughts and insecurities. 

But I am putting the cart before the horse as my Irish granny would have said...

Any of you readers who has been following along with the Mina selections will know that we've had an ongoing sexual build up with another couple, Mina is the slave and she has a master.  There was never any subterfuge between my Master and I that it would eventually happen.  I was going to 'let him' and it was something that he wanted.

I was really curious about pushing that limit.  I knew he thought she was really sexy and really and truly wanted to fuck her.  I knew that if I wasn't around he would have made a much more concerted effort and would have ended up with her a lot sooner because she'd never been very secretive that she'd like to experience him.  It gave me all sort of nervous butterflies to think of them together and honestly the thought was hot.

We'd had quite a bit of pillow talk about playing with them.  I distinctly remember telling him that I wanted him to take her.  He was always pretty non-distinct about what he wanted me to do with the master while he was playing with Mina.  I think this was one of the places that we went wrong.

They came to our home for a weekend.  We had a great time, a great connection between the four of us.  Things went well and the wine flowed.  The inevitable happened of course and the four of us relaxed on our couches split into couples, each with the others spouse.  I should say at this point that Mina's master was quite taken with me and was quite happy about the trade.  He soon had my head pushed down on his cock.  I was at the wrong angle and had to keep breaking off my blow job to look over at my Master with Mina.

From my poor vantage point, in the dimly lit room, after about a gallon of wine, I watched as he caressed her breasts and played with her large nipples.  I was turned on but had to keep going back to service her master's cock.  My Master proceeded to slide his fingers into her wet mouth and it looked as if he was talking quietly to her, I had no idea about what.  She stroked his cock as he spread her thighs and explored her pussy taking possession of her body slowly.  The next time I was able to look up he was standing in front of her sitting form and was pushing his cock into her soft mouth. 

Her master couldn't see her from his angle and since he couldn't hear her he asked naively if she'd fallen asleep.  She did not answer him, entirely focused on my Master's cock, but my Master answered 'Trust me, she isn't sleeping!" with a laugh.

Suddenly I heard more intense movement from their couch.  I struggled to look up but Mina's master had his hand on my head pushing me to his cock.  By the time I was able to look over towards them they were standing and walking from the room, she was moving willingly but he was distinctly guiding her.  It seemed to me he didn't glance back at me at all.

My heart sunk through the floor and I started to panic.  A wave of abandonment washed over me and I told myself I was being silly, I was perfectly fine, we'd be moving any minute.  The other master didn't seem to notice their departure.  He wasn't moving, he was just wanting me to keep sucking his cock.  I started to panic and my brain sort of clicked off.  I was having an intensely emotional struggle between wanting to be a good slave by pleasuring this man at the same time I was starting to feel desperate to get back to my own Master and just to muddy the waters further my poor pussy was on fire thinking about what he was going to do? was doing? with her.  They were already upstairs, I couldn't hear them anymore, and I broke.  As calmly as I could I turned to the other master and invited him to go upstairs with me, cajoling him.  He looked around and noticed they'd gone.  We got up and climbed the stairs, I was trying not to run.

At the top of the stairs a wall of relief rose up to meet me.  I was so happy I almost skipped into the bedroom.  I could hear my Master and Mina just through the door as I started to step through.  Just then I was yanked backwards by the hair.  Mina's master pulled me into the second bedroom, saying I was going the wrong way.  He threw me onto the bed and started to eat my pussy.  I was startled and wasn't functioning well in the brains department.  I wanted to be a good slave so badly and I didn't know if my Master had spoken to this master prior, if they'd had an agreement and if I would ruin everything for him if I left to go back to him.  I didn't understand why we weren't in the same room.  We'd agreed we'd always be in the same room but at the same time I'd also made my solomon promise to him that I would submit to him and I'd given him the right to change the rules when he chose to.  Was that the case here?

I could hear them in the other room, first clinking noise so I new he was doming her with some sort of bondage.   Then her moaning started and I knew he was doing something to her, and then I knew he was fucking her from the rhythm of her cries.  It made me wild and I had a huge orgasm on his face as he licked me, I gushed on him.  He got excited and plied me with more oral and having cum I could no longer concentrate.  I felt trapped.  I felt abandoned and alone.  I could hear her in the other room.  In desperation I begged him to fuck me, thinking he would cum quickly and I could escape.  The alcohol was really kicking in by then and his hard on became unreliable.  I wiggled and moaned under him trying to get him going and trying to block out the sounds from the other room.  Nothing doing so I started sucking him again.

I am guessing the anxiety I was feeling along with the feelings of abandonment and confusion triggered me to flash back to my rape.  I went through some really weird mental states and finally just got up and ran into my Master's room.  The moans had stopped by then and mentally I thought I was going to snap, that my heart or my brain or both would burst from my body.

I burst into the room to find them laying in my and my Master's bed cuddling.  Mina's master followed behind me.  She had on my blindfold mask, because he likes to play with masks on.  I hated that.  I hated seeing them together.  I was using every shred of control I had in my body not to start screaming and crying and hitting anyone and every one of them.  He didn't even glance up at me, didn't say hi, didn't acknowledge me.  I was losing it in a major way.  I couldn't get between them on the bed because they were snuggling.  I literally climbed on top of him, desperate for him to notice me.  It didn't seem to occur to him that anything was wrong.  He'd had a good time.  Finally he allowed me to cut between him and her, not that I let that be optional.  I was holding it together by a thread and I desperately wanted to physically kicked her out of bed and I would have expect I knew with the tiny filament of logic that I still had that I'd agreed to this.

Finally Mina and her Master retired to their own bedroom.  My Master reached for me and started touching me like he was going to fuck me.  As his hand touched my pussy I started wailing.  I broke open and spilled my tangled emotions onto the bed.  I don't remember anymore what I said something about not liking that and never wanting to be in another room again.  He tried to comfort me desperately but I was inconsolable.  The only time I can ever remember feeling that way was when someone died suddenly or when I told him about the night I was raped.  I really and truly lost it.  He held me and stroked me and said he loved me over and over.  Finally he took me to the shower to clean up.  I don't know what his plan was, to wash her off him or to cool off, or to wash me down and distract me.  I was still sobbing uncontrollably.  I dropped to his feet in the shower kissing them, begging him not to leave me and then begging to drink his urine.  I can't explain to you why, I was really far gone in my head.  The only thing I can puzzle together is that I felt I'd been abandoned and this translated into him leaving me and drinking his urine is the ultimate in our repertoire, a hard limit that he'd wanted and I'd given to him.

After drinking his pee.  I was calmer and I finally let him put me to bed.  I found the used condom the next day and masturbated about the incident after I cried again.  As utterly horrible as it had felt my pussy just wouldn't stop.

More than a year later we are still great friends with Mina and her master but we've never repeated the sex.   We've had a few more play sessions with them though.  I still masturbate about the details that I do know about that night.  It still turns me on instantly.  Just like I feel a surge of panic any time I have even a hint that it might repeat its self. 

It has been incredibly difficult to gain any perspective on this night for me.  It gave me a major set back in my trust of him at first and then as I saw the changes he made it has helped me rebuild my trust in him.  It also taught me that I can't be broken, at least not with a one time incident.  It made me not want to be with others for quite a while, but I've managed to over come that over time with his help.  I find I have a true fear of being with other men now though.  I didn't before this incident.  There was something about it triggering my flash back that now makes me panic at the thought of it.  Another thing I need to work on.



Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Little Dee provides a distraction...

Things were not finished with Mina, not by a long shot, however I don't want to give the impression that nothing else was going on in the mean time. 

There was a tremendous amount of sexual tension between all of still.  We all spent time together regularly, we went out together and spent 'vanilla couple time' together.  Every time we went any place with the there were constant reminders of how much my Master wanted her.  I often felt I was taking a back seat and he never hesitated to flirt with her or make sexually charged comments to her.  Her master continued his never ending praises of her beauty and sexual prowess, informing us of every man that looked at her with desire and every exciting sexual thing they did.  It was pretty common for him to have her trot around the living room in every new piece of lingerie he bought her in a 'fashion show' while my own Master never requested the same of me despite the new lingerie I would have purchased at the same time (sometimes even from a tandem shopping trip).  I was forced to oooh and ahhhh at her breasts in every outfit along with the men while remaining firmly in the background, unnoticed.  He had no need to flatter me and apparently a great interest in seeing her preen. 

Mina did just as much to feed into the situation.  She never seemed to think anything that her master said was an exaggeration and accepted his (I felt) biased claims with smiles and nods, perfectly confident that she did give the 'worlds best' blow job.  For her part she also went on and on about that being the first time that she'd orgasmed by being fingered in the ass.  She commented again and again about how exciting it was and how much she enjoyed it.  She showed me her asshole on a couple of occasions so I could see the bruising around her anus caused by the force of the pounding she took from my Master's hand.  That was the icing on my sick little cake, knowing how hard he'd pounded her in his excitement and desire for her and knowing that she had not only gladly took that pain for him, submitting to him utterly but also that she'd cum so hard from her submission to him.  I lost track of the orgasms I had while thinking about that.

Things sort of stalled out between the four of after that, on the sexual front.  There was a lot of tension but no forward momentum.  I think everyone swirled around the idea of ruining our friendship with actual fucking.

In the meantime I was contacted by a lovely little submissive woman.  She was single and very curious a bi-sexual experience and curious about D/s.  She was quite petite but curvy, and literally looked like she could be the strawberry blond sister of Christina Ricci.  She was just a few years younger than myself but I was quite taken with her and I was enjoying the idea of potentially being with her.  My Master lost some focus from Mina as this girl, little Dee was really cute.  He has a preference for redheads and so do I.

As she and I got to know each other she was more and more interested in our dynamic.  She had more and more questions about him.  We went out for coffee with her and she was a bundle of nerves but it went well.  Her interest ramped up further and she was calling me daily.

There was an upcoming fetish event that she was eager to attend.  Mina and her master were quite happy to go as well and so we attended in a group of 5.  She was having a great time, dressed in a short skirt and corset top, but again really nervous.  There was a public dungeon and the 5 of us went to play.  Mina and her master got wrapped up in each other and my Master began to spank me.  He decided that I wasn't responding well and stopped the scene after only a few minutes.  He placed me in the corner and Mina was both figuratively and literally dumped on me.  My Master observing the eager look on little Dee's face, couldn't seem to push me off to the side fast enough and began offering a spanking to little Dee.  She eagerly accepted and was soon straddling the spanking bench, ass in the air for him.  He gave her a good work over, a classic bare handed spanking.  By the time he finished she was lit up like the fourth of July.  I wasn't feeling good about it at all.  It was a really public event, with lots of people known to us and he'd just kind of dumped me off to the sidelines to get his hands - literally - on this woman's ass!  As snubbed by him as I felt I was equally shamed by me wishing he could have ripped off her panties and fucked her then and there.

It was closing time and he offered her a ride home.  I thought he was going to follow through at first but he'd decided he didn't want to impose on our hosts by bring her to their home.  Mina also wasn't so sure that she liked her.

Little Dee was indeed thrilled with the event.  She had hinted all the way home that she was ripe for a fucking but she'd been ignored.  She called me to tell me how hot and bothered she'd been by the spanking and how badly she wanted her cunt pounded.

It didn't take long before we were headed back in to meet with her again, this time with a hotel room reserved.  On the drive to her town I could feel my heart pounding, I was feeling the rush of anxiety I now know I always get before he fucks someone else.  I thought I knew what to expect but I guess I needed to hear it from him to be prepared.  I decided to just ask him point black what he had planned.
Quite clearly that he planned to have her suck his cock and he would be fucking her that night.  I spent the rest of the car trip dripping wet while my stomach churned.

She was a good girl and met us at the hotel.  My Master quickly stripped me down and put a blindfold on me, which is a turn on for him.  Of course I could hear everything he was saying to her but I could only make guesses at how he was handling her body, what he was physically doing to her.  Eventually she ended up naked on the bed and he drug me by the hair to push my face in her pussy.  Again I didn't know what he was doing but I focused on my task, willingly preparing her for him, wanting her to enjoy it.  She squirmed and came.  He made me lay beside her kissing her and playing with her breasts as she did the same to me.  I held my breath waiting for him to claim her with his cock.  I was braced but dreading it.  He pulled out the hiatchi and made her come again.  She was desperately trying to find a way to beg to be fucked, unsuccessfully.  Then as quick as that he was finished with her.

She went outside for a smoke.  I was struggling with the waves of relief followed by the crushing disappointment that he hadn't done it.  I'd been built up to jump off the cliff and instead I'd just tripped on a stair.  I told him quickly that I was okay, that I was not standing in his way of taking her, in case that was why he'd halted.  I thought maybe he just wanted a break and would go back at it.  She came back in and again I could see how badly she wanted it.  He sent her to bed and snuggled in with me.  Again I was caught on a roller coaster of wanting to tear my hair out in frustration and reliefe and love that he'd apparently chosen me.

Little Dee did feel rejected form this night and no matter how I tried to smooth things over she just couldn't see from his side.  Her constant nervous state had completely turned him off.  He was afraid she'd be one of these women who fucks someone and then regrets it after - buyer's remorse - and decided not to take that risk for us.  Disappointing in a minor sense, but reaffirming for our relationship.


Mina, Mina, Mina...

I was right of course, things weren't over by a long stretch.  We continued our association with Mina and her master, and if anything we only became closer.  It became a focus of the masters to have she and I perform on each other for their enjoyment.  Mina made it clear that she was 'bi from the waist up', meaning she wasn't going to have anything to do with my pussy.  No one seemed particularly concerned that this might make me uncomfortable or that I might find it demeaning that she was treated as a princess while I was expected to service her, giving her orgasms with my mouth while receiving nothing in return, except knowing that my pussy wasn't good enough for her.  I quickly realized that my performance on her pleased the masters greatly as they enjoyed watching her squirm.  I enjoyed their pleasure and I enjoyed the power of making her cum.  I enjoyed how turned on my Master was and I hoped that part of it was for me, but he never gave me any indication that it was. 

During the course of becoming intimate with her pussy I made the mistake of fingering her.  I've never felt a tighter pussy.  It was all I could do to get my finger inside her.  My Master's cock is double or triple the thickness of her master's, and I'll confess that I had many explosive orgasms after that, picturing him having to work his thick cock into her virgin tight pussy, stretching her and giving her the thickest cock she's ever had.  At the same time I was becoming aware that him fucking her was inevitable, and I wasn't sure how he would ever want to fuck me again after having her.

Master and I rented a hotel room one weekend as we had a wedding to attend and we wanted to stay within walking distance of the reception.  As we didn't know a lot of the wedding attendees we assumed we'd be back early and so gave our key to Mina and her master so they could hang out until we returned and we'd have a bit of an after party in our room.

We arrived much earlier than they expected and we could hear Mina moaning as soon as we stepped off the elevator near our room.  We entered the room to find Mina, naked and bound on the bed where her master had been fucking her.  My Master decided there was no reason why this couldn't be the theme of the evening and so I was quickly naked as well.

The men decided they'd flog and spank us swapping back and forth.  Mina was propped up on some pillows on the bed with her head towards the head board and her spread ass in the air.  The way the pillows were set up she was supported and there was still access to her breasts. 

I was on the second bed in the room, but I was across the bed on all fours, so I was facing Mina on her bed, and had a good view of what was happening to her. 

As the spanking and flogging heated up the two men's rotation between us slowed down, with my Master becoming more and more focused on Mina and her master focusing more on me.  Later he said it was as much her Master as himself, but it seemed to me that he didn't look back at me once after he started to work on Mina's pussy and ass with his fingers.  Every time it seemed she was about to go into subspace he pinched and twisted her nipples so he could continue playing with her.  Her moans were echoing through the room and she was obviously surrendering to him, declaring her holes for his use. 

Mina's master was playing with my clit, making me cum again and again as I watch my Master first as he fingered Mina's pussy and then as he switched to her tight asshole.  My pussy was gushing, and I squirted several times.  It looked to me that he had managed to get two of his fingers into her ass and he was pounding it like a piston.  I had no idea how many times she'd cum already for him as he played with her pussy earlier.  I could see the intensity of his focus on abusing her backdoor and I knew he had to be thinking that he wanted to sink his thick cock into the same tight hole.  He was making her confess how good it was and how much she wanted him to keep fingering her ass.  Suddenly Mina came like crazy bucking on his pistoning fingers and her pussy squirting down her spread thighs.

I was a limp rag on the bed, as was Mina and the play slowed at that point.  My Master suggested we all cuddle on the bed for a break.  They piled Mina and I into the middle and my Master spooned me from behind and her master did the same to her.  He took several photos of us sprawled together on the bed and I noticed later that in every shot my Master is reaching over me to put his hand possessively on Mina's hip or waist.

We eventually stumbled over to our own bed and my Master fucked me in front of them, I was unsure if they were asleep or were watching us.  I am not sure I've ever been more aroused and he laughed at me, pleased that I was so ready for him despite all of my earlier orgasms.  Exhausted we fell asleep in each others arms.

I woke first the next morning.  I got up and went to the bathroom and returned to bed quietly trying not to wake anyone else.  On my way back tot eh bed I couldn't help notice Mina was laying on her back and the covers had slipped down to her hips exposing her breasts.  I lay there bored waiting for the others to wake, hoping to fall back to sleep myself.  After a while my Master roll onto his side so he was facing their bed.  He was in a prime position for his eyes to fall upon Mina and her exposed breasts.  I noticed movement beneath the sheets and his arm started pumping back and forth in an oddly familiar way.  I was confused for a slit moment and then it hit me.  He was jerking off while watching Mina sleep rather than rolling over to fuck me, the girl beside him who was ready and willing.  I felt the hot flush of humiliation followed by anger.  I wanted to yell, to hit his back and instead I reached up and in a childish fit I flicked his ear lobe with my fingers.

He was angry at first and then decided to fuck me instead of doing himself, and of course he could watch her the same time.  

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Mina plans a birthday present...

I wanted to do something special for my Master.  It was an important birthday for him and I wanted to show him how much I appreciated him and everything he was to me.

We'd been invited to spend the weekend of his birthday with Mina and her master.  I decided that I wanted it to be a surprise, something I planned for him.  I managed to slip them some money so they could purchase the ingredients for his favorite meal and a birthday cake.  I planned a way to distract him once we were at their home so Mina and I could decorate.  Things were going perfectly to plan, people were invited and we'd planed to do a formal dinner with the slaves serving naked. 

I received an update email in the beginning of the week we were to head for their place.  For several different reasons the other people had not been available and it was just going to be the four of us after all.  Also Mina thought it would be a brilliant plan to offer herself to pleasure my Master as a birthday gift.

I panicked and thought of deleting the email.  Realizing that wouldn't work as we'd end up at their place anyway and she'd just take the offer directly to him I thought frantically of a way out.  I felt as if I might have an anxiety attack and at the same time I had to ironically admit that in my sick and twisted way I wanted this to happen, it was the topic of my frantic clit rubbings more often than not now.

I decided it was best to leave it between all of us once we were there and together.  We could see what the comfort levels were and we'd see how it went.  There was always he chance he wouldn't be interested.

So we arrived for the birthday weekend and Mina ended up being unable to make her offer.  I wasn't sure if I'd dodged a bullet or if I was devastated with disappointment.  The sexual tension was becoming unbearable for me.  At one point my Master grabbed her and gave her a giant hug and thanked her for putting on such a great dinner party for him.  His hands wandered all over her ass as he ground her tits into his chest.  She was giggling at the attention.  I stood abandoned in the kitchen doing the dishes of the meal that I'd just done the majority of the cooking and serving of, that I'd paid for, in the room where I'd done most the decorating in.  He seemed to have forgotten that I was there.  I was torn between joy that I'd managed to pull off such a great night for him and fury that he was heaping all his attention and all the credit on her.  Despite my mixed emotions I was wet and ready for him as he fucked me later, seeing his hands on her ass had worked it's usual sick magic on my libido.

We left that weekend having had a lot of fun but I had a nagging doubt that I hadn't heard the last of her offer to service him...

Meeting Mina...

Bon-Bon turned out to be a one off situation however she was a key to our next series of events.  She introduced us to a lovely Master/slave couple.  We became good friends with them quickly.  The slave Mina is about 5 years younger than myself, a natural blond, standing 5'6", with super long legs and breasts that have to be an "E" cup.  She is one of those people that seems very innocent and very submissive.  Men can't seem to resist her and I've watch on many occasions where every guy in the room had his eyes riveted on her.

My Master was no exception to this.  It was obvious from the beginning that she caught his eye.  He took every opportunity to tease her to reveal more cleavage and leg, tell her how great she looked and hug her very tightly, crushing her breasts against him at the slightest excuse.  He'd come home after we'd spent time with them and tell me how he wanted me to be more like her, to learn to discuss the topics she could etc.  I often felt plain and left out as he talked up her looks and listened raptly to whatever it was she said.  Since I wasn't mesmerized by her breasts I had no trouble realizing she wasn't talking about anything more sophisticated or in depth than I did, and I was quite capable of discussing the same topics.  It was completely humiliating for me to be considered less than her in every area simply because she was hot.   

I felt humiliated every time he did something so obvious that showed a preference to her.  At the same time I began to fantasize about her surrendering to him because I could tell how much he desired her.  As we often stayed over at their place it was not uncommon to here them fucking in the other room, her moans echoing through their home.  It seemed to me that every time she started he rolled to me to fuck me while listening to her cries of pleasure and I couldn't help myself but raise to the occasion, cumming hard for him, imagining him causing her pleasure noises.

Her master was no help as he was constantly relating to us what a fantastic lay she was, how she came multiple times every time he fucked her and squirted like a water fountain.  Her greatest accomplishment was her skill at blowjobs and in this arena, according to her master, she had no equal.  My master would often gaze at her while these grand images where presented to him, his eyes glowing with lust.  How could you not wish to have such a creature?

Being into the BDSM play on several occasions we had the opportunity to see her stripped down and played with and in short order my Master joined in fondling her large breasts and flogging her.  She went into subspace very quickly and so her master took her out of the play, laying her back on the bed.  My Master then played with me for a short while and brought me to the bed as well.  He threw me onto the bed belly down beside her, but slightly lower on the bed.  As he mounted me from behind his view with just a slight turn of his head was her naked body spread almost under him, legs open to reveal her pouty pussy lips.  I felt like I was the receptacle for his cock as he fantasized about thrusting himself between her silky thighs.  I hated it and still couldn't help myself from cumming on his cock.

She quickly went to the top of his list that he would recite while fucking me.
"Who will you give me to fuck my slave?"
"Anyone you wish Master!  Who do you wish to use my Master?"
"Mina.  Will you give me Mina?"
"Yes, Master" I would say weakly, feeling jealousy and humiliation course through me while I came helplessly.

The jokes and talk of sex acts between us all continued to ramp up with every visit.

Mina began to hint that she wanted to know what it was like to submit to my Master and he let his interest in testing her blow job skills become obvious.  The humiliation was exquisite during these incidences as everyone focused on her and I faded into the background.

I knew it was only a matter of time before the situation came to a head.  It became my most frequent masturbation fantasy, her lips wrapped around his cock, his cock plowing into her pussy.  At the same time I found the flirting and attention to her almost unbearable.  The lust I could see on his face made me want to cry and on several occasions I was distraught enough to snap at him.

And then before I knew it his birthday was right around the corner and we were invited to spend it with them...


Bon-Bon fucks him and ignors me.

So a month or so after our first meet up with Bon-Bon we have the opportunity to head back to her city.  She'd stayed in contact with us the whole time and was eager to meet again.  This time she didn't want to bring her friend along, she wanted to meet with just the three of us, or at least that was how she said it.

We picked her up after she finished her late shift, and brought her to our hotel room.  My Master initially wanted a threesome and she was sulky and persnickety about it.  I really didn't think twice about her reasons for giving us attitude, as she'd seemed to enjoy being with us so much before.  He made me perform on him in front of her, I am not sure if it was an attempt at inspiring her or making her jealous.  He kept looking at her as he fucked me and I couldn't help but think he was wishing it were her pleasuring him.  As it was late we all ended up falling asleep.

The next morning she seemed more cheerful.  As he is a morning person he was eager to go and I could see the gleam of desire in his eye as he brought out a play collar and lay it beside her on the bed.  He told her that if she wanted to play she just had to present him with the collar.  She nodded that she'd heard him but continued checking her phone messages.  I thought something might eventually happen and so excused myself to go to the restroom as I really had to pee. 

I was in the washroom for 10 min or so, wanting to brush my teeth and make sure that I was 'hygienic' after sleeping all night.  I smoothed my hair and put on deodorant.  I excited the hotel bathroom and came around the corner so that I was at the foot of the bed. 

The sight on the bed caused my stomach to drop through the floor, a flash of humiliation made me flush all over, my head spun and I thought for a moment I might be sick or pass out or something drastic.  At the same time my pussy clenched and pulsed.  He was laying naked on the bed on his side, his mouth pressed against hers, tongues stroking against each other and his fingers fucking into her already wet cunt.  I could hear the sound of her juices from the foot of the bed.  There was never really any doubt that she wanted him.  They didn't need me, they didn't want me there and they hadn't even noticed that it had taken me so long to some back. 

I stood there frozen in place for a moment, just completely overwhelmed by the scene.  I had wave after wave of fear, rejection and abandonment wash over me while my pussy got wetter and wetter.  He didn't seem to notice me as he was all hands on deck, he wasn't worried about when or if I might return, he was simply focused on getting her ready to fuck him properly.  Form her position on her back she was gazing directly at me.  She said nothing about my presence and made no effort to include me at all or to let him know I was there.    

I finally came around a bit and realized I was not doing my part.  He had set up a safe gesture of sorts ahead of time.  If I was okay with what was happening and felt I could proceed I was to pass him a condom.  In a panic I snatched the condom up from the night stand and crawled onto the edge of the bed.  Part of me wanted to hurl the condom across the room and scream at him to stop, while another part of me was wild for him to take her right there.  My cont won out and I passed him the condom.  He pushed me at the girl while I put it on.  She would not turn her head toward me so I could kiss her so instead I sucked on her nipples, deciding that he wanted me to keep her hot and bothered during the momentary stall in the action. 

He pushed her knees up to her shoulders and thrust inside her.  She was moaning and groaning, thanking him for his cock, thanking him for fucking her and he was grunting and thrusting away.  I felt like I ceased to exist.  She completely refused to acknowledge me no matter what I did to her breasts.  He thrust into her for what seemed like forever, head arching back, clearly enjoying her excitement and moans.  He finally picked up his Hitachi magic wand and started applying it to her pierced clit.  She came on his cock over and over, thanking him for the orgasms.  He got a sudden strange look on his face and lay down beside her.  He joked and cuddled with her.  She finally admitted that I was there and gave me a bit of a condescending pat.

She packed up shortly after having got what she came for and now needing to run off to work again.  He went to the shower and I began tidying the room.  I found the discarded wrapper and condom and picked them up from where they'd fallen.  As I straightened up the cum from the condom spilled all over my hand.  I felt a the same flash of humiliation and anger.  He'd promised me he wouldn't come with her, that he'd save that for me.  I realized she'd turned him on so much he couldn't hold back his orgasm, although he routinely did so when fucking me.  My pussy betrayed me again, gushing.  My heart felt like it had been stamped on as I laid on the bed and frantically massaged my clit to a rapturous orgasm. 


As an aside we later had some issues with the Bon-Bon.  She took her condensation of me out into our public social circle.  She'd run up to my Master giving him hugs and rubbing up against him while not acknowledging me, making cutting comments to me, inviting him to play parties, jumping up on stage with him during his Karaoke songs or pretending to throw her panties at him.  She seemed to think that she could manipulate him into replacing me because he'd fucked her.  Silly girl.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Real Time with a Bon-Bon...

I was in a real tizzy over the online experience, which was only enhanced when an ex of his came onto the scene emailing that she wanted him back while trying to manipulate me into dumping him.  Thankfully she didn't get far, but her story isn't finished and she will resurface in a later post.  Yes, I am foreshadowing for you all!

However it didn't really even make me hesitate in my search for finding a woman to have a threesome with.  I really was a woman on a mission.  I contacted profile after profile and got a few responses.  A few of whom I am still in contact with today.  Finally I got a solid bite.  She was a kinky woman, who identified as a submissive.  She'd had a few girl-on-girl experiences and she told me she was really turned on by the idea of being my first woman.  She lived in large city a few hours drive from my Masters residence.  For a play on her name I am going to call her Bon-Bon. 

During this time my Master was still living distant from me but my work situation had changed and I was able to come to him for an extended stay.  Bon-Bon was excited that I was suddenly so much closer to her location and that we could make this thing happen.  We arranged the trip in and off we went.

I was nervous but excited about the prospect.  I had no idea about what would happen or how this would go.  We checked in at the hotel and waited for Bon-Bon at the bar.  She did show up but had a man in tow whom she identified as her friend with benefits who was eager to see the show.  After having a drink and conversation with the two of them my Master decided that he had no qualms about my first experience with a woman being in front of both himself and another man and we all retired to the hotel room.

Bon-Bon was very interested in my Master during our several hours together.  She was quite tall about 5'9",  with long legs and curly dark hair and big doe like brown eyes, such a contrast to me as i am not much over 5' and a blue eyed blond.  She was also much racier than me with several tattoos and piercings.  She eagerly allowed my Master to strip her and collar her.  He inspected her, fondling her very large breasts with their pierced nipples and fingering her wet cunt with it's pierced clit and her ass hole.  Her friend simply sat on one of the beds and watched.  My Master did several demonstrations on her of BDSM techniques like flogging, for herself and her partner.  While he showed off his skills he kept her in a constant state of arousal by fondling her and kissing her.  Several times he pressed his pelvis into her and from her sharp moans I knew she was feeling his erection thrusting against her.  Each time he kissed her and rubbed his cock against her I felt my stomach fall through the floor and at the same time my cunt ached to be fucked.

Finally Bon-Bon was brought to me and she and I were commanded to make out and begin touching each other.  I was underneath her and her ass was up in the air.  My Master continued to play with her cunt while she was kissing me.  He began to Masturbate her with the Hitachi and she went into a series of orgams which splashed my leg with her cum.  I was then ordered to eat her cunt to orgasm and I did shamelessly.

After that was over things began to wrap up as it was very late and everyone was pretty exhausted.  I felt like I'd dodged a bullet, he hadn't even taken his cock out!  He had not fucked this girl even though he had every opportunity to.  At the same time I found that I felt disappointed.  He hadn't fucked anyone, how could he be satisfied?  I needed him to be satisfied. 

He turned to the girl and asked her if she'd enjoyed herself and with a huge grin she said "Yes!". 

He then asked "How do you show your gratitude to me?" 

She looked startled at first and then with an eager smile said "With a blowjob?".

My stomach lurched.  I wasn't particularly turned on at the moment, having been forced to have a few orgasms of my own for everyone's entertainment.  I am sure my mouth dropped open and I wanted to beg him not to accept.  I saw the look on his face of eager anticipation and pleasure.  I broke out in a sweat and as my heart pounded my pussy didn't let me down, I felt my clit begin to echo my heart.

"No, but thank you."  He said.  "I want you on your belly kissing my feet."  Bon-Bon was immediately prone and giving attention to his feet.  The picture of a grateful sub and eager to please him.

Not that night but eventually she gets her chance... 


Sunday, 2 October 2011

The first baby step or an online cucking...

Due to the distance apart we live during the initial part of our relationship we ended up spending a lot of time online together.  One Saturday afternoon I was approached on an online BDSM site by a woman interested in having a cyber sex chat with my Master and I.

I agreed and we set up a three way chat.  I was to 'listen in' to him having her perform sex acts for him and possibly sending him photos.  We had technical difficulties and although I could get a chat with him, and I could open a chat with her our three way connection refused to work.

Instead of calling it off he continued with her.  She would send me the occasional word and so would he but during the long gaps of silence I had no idea of what was going on.  I was going nuts, feeling left out, dying to know what was happening between them.

She sent me a naked photo of herself revealing a lovely looking woman with long slim legs.  My insecurities flared.  He told me she'd sent him a nude photo and asked what position the photo she sent me was in.  I told him that she was reclined on a bed and he stated that the one he had received was different.  He directed me to email him the photo I had received and I did.  He didn't return the favour.  I was pacing my mind racing.  I felt ridiculous as this was all online!  At the same time my pussy was on fire.  I couldn't stop touching myself, while my anxiety ratcheted up notch after notch.

Finally after about an hour he'd finished with her and he called me on the telephone.  He didn't give me a blow by blow account but he gave me some details about her using toys on herself and him doing some orgasm control on her.  I didn't have the nerve to ask if he'd masturbated or cum while talking to her.  I was hot and wet and upset and insecure.  It was coming off me in waves strong enough for him to sense over the phone.  He had me masturbate to orgasm for him, controlled by him while he listened.

I hated the feeling of being left out, but at the same time I came over and over again thinking about it.  At the time I had no idea of the things to come that would make me cum... 

How did we end up here?

For me the cuckquean tendencies have been like a giant ball of string that I've been unraveling. I've had fantasies about being involved in threesomes for a very long time. I had to work out that I was kinky and that I was bi and that I liked the idea of having other women in bed in a MFF situation.

I first started fantasizing about being a cuckquean during my first sexual relationship.  My boyfriend was very focused on the idea of us having a threesome with another woman.  He never explained himself to me however I've pieced together that he spent a lot of his time trying to build me up to the point where this would become possible.  He really seemed to enjoy 'corrupting' me.  To this end he supplied me endless amounts of pornography, mostly featuring girl on girl action either in lesbian scenes or in MFF threesomes.

I could not hide how aroused I would get over these movies.  He would fondle me and fuck me while we watched them, making sure I came.  He began to ramp the focus up by asking me which girls I found attractive and which ones I would want in bed with us.  He got good at identifying my 'type' and tried to tailor the movies in that direction.  Since he'd started the dirty talk I had no qualms about continuing it.  I began to use it to turn him on and of course chose his favorite topic of having a sexy lady in bed with us.  I never trusted that his drive for a threesome wasn't just about him getting to have sex with someone else and when I told him dirty stories I started to twist them so they were more and more focused on him fucking this other woman while I helped him.  This turned him on and he'd fuck me like a wild man.  Unfortunately (or fortunately?) for me it had a side effect I hadn't anticipated.  I started cumming to the idea of him using another woman, and the more graphic it got the harder I came.  I started thinking about this scenario when he wasn't around even, and I still came like gangbusters.

All things must come to an end, and despite the hot sex, that relationship wasn't particularly good.  As it turned out I was right and he did cheat on me while out of town for work.  It took me a long while after his betrayal to start thinking about being a cuckquean again.

Enter my first marriage.  Sexually speaking a very bland relationship during which I realized that I was bi-sexual.  My then husband was horrified at the idea of any type of threesome or me doing anything sexual with anyone else.  I found myself fantasizing about him cheating on me so I could join him with another woman, or of myself setting him up with a woman so we could both explore.  I always thought of him having sex with her... I don't know if it was to make me feel less guilty for what I wanted or if it was a sort of payment for me to get to experience sex with a woman.   I found over time that I was able to get off better with the image of him fucking another woman. 

You could say my pump had already been primed by the time that I met my Master.  I had met him with the understanding that he was knowledgeable in BDSM techniques and I was interested in learning and experiencing.  I let him know I was very interested in a MFF threesome and exploring my bi-sexuality.  He was more than okay with this.  He told me he thought he was poly-amorous and that he had always pictured himself having multiple relationships with women. 

We agreed that my desire to explore my bi-sexual side and his desire to continue to experience other women was something we could work on together.  To that end I kept myself open to opportunity to experiences that came along.  He accepted a job at some distance from me and we decided to continue our relationship despite the distance.

Somewhere along the way we fell in love and committed to be together.  I wasn't sure how I felt about having another woman in my relationship or how I felt about him having sex with someone else, but we'd figure it out together.  So with that we started simply looking for experiences and talking about things.  

My Master/Husband is into the idea of including others in our sex life, which we now do fairly regularly. However he struggles somewhat with the idea of cucking, his thinking being more threesome, with myself fully included. I think with someone else he'd have no issues with this, he doesn't struggle with humiliation or objectification or gratuitous sex he just struggles with it in regards to me, fear of hurting me, not wanting to damage me, not wanting me to hate him.

We've played around with partner swapping and traditional MFF threesomes. In our pursuit of threesomes we've stumbled into pseudo-cuck scenarios. There's been good and bad things about them and it's taught me a lot about the parameters I need to feel safe while doing this and what parts of it I actually enjoy.

It has taken me a long time to realize that there is a pattern to the porn that I like best and the fantasies that most appeal me. I always thought they were just MFF threesomes then I realized that I was often putting a bit of a tilt on the scenario and the M wasn't giving even attention to both of the F's and I was putting myself in the place of the F getting the least attention. It's been something that I've been confused about how to explain or admit to my partner. In all honesty I've also been afraid of admitting it fully to myself.

To complicate matters we've recently begun seeing a submissive woman (which has also helped bring this to a head within me) and we are hoping that it will become an ongoing situation. I have no idea where she fits into this... or if she will at all. If nothing else it will be interesting! LOL

What is a Cuckquean?

What the heck is a Cuckquean?

Essentially a cuckquean is a female cuckold.  A cuckold is a man who's wife entertains other men sexually, sometimes in front of him sometimes not.  Sometimes he participates by fluffing the other man and sometimes he is made to prepare his wife for the other man to mount.  Often there is a strong element of humiliation, that the man isn't 'enough' to satisfy his wife.  This is a fairly well known fetish.  Cuckqueaning on the other hand is less so.  When this same (or similar) situation happens to a woman, she is known as a cuckquean.  Her husband or SO engages in sex acts with other women.

There are as many different quirks to the dynamic of Cuckqueaning as there are people engaging in this kink.

In our case we are working out what this means specifically to us.  We are in what some call the lifestyle of BDSM.  The most important part of BDSM, to us, is the Domination and Submission aspect.  We refer to ourselves as Master and slave (Master = Dominant and slave = the submissive counterpart), which is a completely consensual Power Exchange relationship.  I may speak more on this topic on another post but it is sufficient to say that I get off on his pleasure, he is the one who sets the standards and makes the rules and that is how I like it to be.      

And that is how it all began for me...